Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Lord of the Nerds


[Nerd Rant]  Over the last week I've been engaged by no less than 3 people, one of which was a stranger (the cook at Hot Iron Mongolian Grill) on the topic of eagles in the Lord of the Rings.  I don't start the conversations.  I don't join them when I hear them, yet somehow my opinion is always asked.  This is only the movies of course.  No one bothers with the books anymore.

Okay boys, here is the simple of it.  Gandalf did not let Frodo and Sam ride the eagles into Mordor and save the whole dangerous trip because Sauron was watching everything with his giant phallic eye.  At the end of the movie they have to have a massive suicidal battle in front of the Black Gate for the sole purpose of turning Sauron's eye away from the hobbits as they closed in on the lava.  So flying them in at the start of the movie would have resulted in an eagle or 2 being chow for the Lord of the Nazgul and his boy band.  Sauron could tell where the One Ring was when it was in the open.  Frodo could not have avoided him.

So the idea that it was a plothole is just silly.  There are so many better plotholes to foam at the mouth about.

"But they could have distracted Sauron just like they did at the end of the movie."  NO!  Bad Nerd!  Watch your movie.  They only way they could get to the gate at all to cause the distraction was by defeating the main orc army in Gondor.  Sauron wasn't paying close attention.    The orcs didn't give the heroes any choice in the battle either so don't pull some card about them avoiding the invading army.

"So why didn't the eagles get killed when they saved Frodo and Sam at the end of the movie?"  Oy!  Bad guy army crushed.  Sauron's tower went crashity crash.  No more giant eye looming over them.  Also Frodo no longer had the brilliant ring shaped magical strobe light strapped to his neck that kept getting the Big Bad's attention in the first place.

People of the world, please enjoy your movies how you want and rant and foam all you want.  Just stop randomly dragging me into your conversations.  Eventually I will stop nodding and being quiet and actually start talking.  Woe unto you.
[/end NERD RANT]